(A Hero's Tale)

On a summer night, the air hung still and calm, enveloping everything in a tranquil serenity. In the freshly renovated apartment, the only audible presence was the gentle murmur of water coursing through the pipes. A sudden hush enveloped the space as Bert shut off the shower, preparing himself for a restful night ahead. Upon entering the room, he observed that Margaret, his wife, was without her sleep apnea mask. Connected to a device aiding her sleep, the mask facilitated the flow of air into her lungs, ensuring a continuous supply during moments of breath cessation. Bert instructed Margaret to set her device in motion before retiring for the night. Ignoring Bert's guidance with a casual shrug, Margaret received a cautionary warning from him. After a few moments had elapsed, Bert became aware of the gentle, muted symphony of Margaret's soft snores echoing behind him. Recognizing that Margaret hadn't donned her mask despite his earlier warning, Bert decided to intervene, taking matters into his own hands. A sudden realization dawning that these tranquil moments were merely the calm preceding an impending storm. He shifted his position, lifting his butt towards her head, as he exerted all his strength, pushing with determination... He let out the tightest, rippiest fart, with a frequency so high Mariah would be inspired. And if it were any higher only dogs would hear it. A fart so slappy that for a brief moment, Margaret thought Bert and his friends were giving her a round of applause. Margaret abruptly awoke, her eyes wide with disbelief. Swiftly, she secured her mask, retaliating by striking Bert with unexpected speed. The glare in her eyes and the stern frown etched across her face made it clear to Bert that he'd be spending the night on the couch. Left with nothing more than a twinge of discomfort between his cheeks, Bert found solace in the belief that it was indeed a small price to pay. And thus unfolds the tale of how a colossal fart might have inadvertently become the savior of ones life.

Title: Call of the Banshee (A Hero's Tale)

Author: Han DiCaprio